I’m jumping ship for a day to talk about Orlando Florida and one of our Radio Personalities. Please stay tuned tomorrow and I’ll be sure to bash Politician’s and other idiotic personalities. Thanks for your patience.

Shannon Burke got the axe today as Real Radio dropped the bomb. Not to be trivial, but I think Burke shot himself in the foot on this one. His persona on the radio did not translate to his personal life. On air, he seemed somewhat cool, but apparently, off air his feet never touched the ground and his self control or lack thereof took a reel ride out the window. That said, what happened at his home is personal, between him, his wife and the sniveling little dog; Simple as that. His arrest was of interest only because of who he is. One only needs to look on the surface to find out why Burke is an essential part of Orlando’s identity.

Orlando is an eclectic blend of cultures, ideals and perspectives. It’s also a town still trying to define itself. It wants to be more than Disney World and array of other touristy treasures which lure people from all over the world. It wants to be known for its arts and culture, for sports and nightlife. It seeks to be defined not by what it is, but by what it wants to be. Our local celebrities like Burke reflect this somewhat evasive identity.

Unlike New York, San Francisco, Miami and other well known cities, Orlando is known only as a launching pad to the outlying amenities and attractions. People fly into OIA, pull up their checkered Bermuda’s, put on their sunglasses and off they go. Not down town. The local’s know the spots to go, have their favorite joints and make down town their place to go of places to go. Locals are important only to a point. They cannot generate the revenue for businesses to thrive, only survive. Sometimes that’s enough. In Orlando’s case, it isn’t.

Orlando needs to be seen as the place to go in Central Florida. Not, a place to go. A Ferris wheel, while different is still cutesy and an over sold eyesore. New Arena’s are good for locals. The Arts are o.k. as long as they are a part of the plan and not the crutch. What is needed instead of all these expensive, politically motivated concepts are personalities and Burke is one of them.

Take out the edge, remove the dirt and smooth the rough edges and all that’s left is fluff. Nice, cozy and quaint, “Let’s sip some tea Charles.” Why is NPR funded by donations and the taxpayers? It's boring and can’t generate revenue; a snooze fest. Reel Radio is missing the boat on this one. Today’s listener’s and local’s want to be awake, they want the over the top identity and need to have that certain edge. It is what does, will and needs to help seed Orlando’s eclectic identity tree grow and mature. Take away a popular DJ because he was fallible and yes, broke the law and we all lose. Orlando, Reel Radio and Burke. He can pay for his stupidity, but when it’s over let’s get some edge and bring Burke back. Just make sure, dogs stay away.

Hey Perez, slow down there girlfriend. I know you were jealous of not being one of the Miss America finalist. What with your man breast, dated hair style and eclectic lime green jacket, you would have the prettiest she wanna be there. Sadly though, your agenda driven representation of Gay America only served to polarize your all or nothing marriage plight. Here’s some advice, next time you try to pich a hard ball question, remember you’re a better catcher. The fact you were even allowed to ask such a loaded question at the Miss America pageant in the first place goes to show how much our society and one it’s iconic events has slipped.

Miss America used to be the pinnacle of all pageants for our American Beauties. Where young women came together with a common goal; to demonstrate the best of what America’s women had to offer. Both in beauty and mind. Now, it is nothing more than an overrated propaganda machine designed to promote causes which organizes want, not which are near and dear to contestants. To have a homosexual ask a heterosexual if they agrees with Gay Marriage is the epitome of politics meets prettiness. It should never have happened. All it did was serve as the typical “homo-phobe” fodder for social deviants like Perez Hilton.

The debate about gay marriage is a question of private and personal beliefs. If anyone disagrees with Gay Marriage, they will be vilified and become fair game for all those week principled whiners who have nothing else to do. People like Perez hurt, not help the cause of the gay community. Most normal people have nothing against homosexuality. They prefer to let well enough alone unless it’s shoved in their faces. For instance, they don’t like it when San Francisco, Key West and New York openly endorse pride parades. The kind where men in pink tutu’s twirl like hairy legged fairies, leather thronged fat men and gays with slaves march through the streets. Mainstream? Nope. Freaks, perverts and blatant in your face sexual deviants; yes. Spectacles such as these disgust most hetero’s and make the mainstream gay community cringe. Blending, not stirring is better for all. Perez and the Miss America organizers decided instead to hit the puree button on the social blender.

He could have asked any number of questions of Prejean. The pageant could have focused on the fundamental’s of what Miss America is all about. Instead, both Perez and Pageant organizers opted to use it as a platform to ridicule and mock a large block of America for not agreeing with Gay Marriage. Yes, it brought the debate to the forefront and yes, publicity, good or bad is still publicity but once the pixie dust settles from Miss Perez, all that will remain is a sour taste.

I predict, next year Perez will be one of the finalist and the pageant will be prime time LOGO viewing. Most of America will not even bother. Opting instead to watch reruns of shows like Wings and Charles in Charge. They both suck, but at least they won’t be force feeding hidden agenda’s by narcissist like Perez. So, you go Girlfriend, be the woman you’ve always wanted to be. The rest of us will be busy ignoring you and your ilk. We have better things to do with our lives. The pageant better start saving though since ratings will be down, advertising will be dismal and the cost of making a crown big enough to fit your fat head will be astronomical. The only upside will be the duck tape to shut you up, is really cheap.

Most may not know that I am a stickler for facts. They do not lie. The earth is round, rain is wet, and rough toilet paper makes the tushie sore, are all facts. They are proven scientifically and have been beta tested to no end (no pun intended). So, I wonder why “Global Warming,” which has been touted as fact is now called “Climate Change.” Is it because warming was too specific and change is an evolving perception and more readily identifies arbitrary objectives?

In august, temperatures reach 90’s and the 100’s. In February they dip to the teens and sub’s. What used to be summer and winter are now “Climate Change, and we are responsible. To test this theory, I performed a test to see how much impact I could have on the earth. I went outside and did 10 push ups. As I did, I had my wife watch me to see if I was physically forcing my body upward from the ground or if as I think I was, pushing the earth down and away from body. The distance of the earth from my chest would have been the same either way, so the conclusion was neither. I could only do one push up and according to my wife it didn’t count because I was on my knees.

The nest experiment was harder, I tied myself to a tree (don’t worry Greenie’s, the rope was a non irritant and was coated so as to not hurt the tree) and ran in place. As I did, the earth appeared to turn faster. I am confident that somewhere in Europe a tight rope walker named Jacque fell to his demise. I apologize for not warning the United Nation’s in advance of this experiment. Next time, I promise to do so. Anyway, the short of the experiment was inconclusive once more.

In my final experiment I got my ladder and climbed on the roof of my house with a bungee cord tied to my waist. The other side was attached to a spike in the ground below. In my zeal, I now know that I didn’t truly consider everything in attempting this experiment, but chalked it up as taking one for team called science. I jumped off the house and as I suspected, the earth started up toward me at the same time. I was attempting to see if my body which turned out to be my head could bounce the earth off of me and thus changing the rotation. I can say with confidence now as I write this from my hospital bed, that I, and likely we, have no impact on the earth’s climate. We can’t move it, can turn it, can’t push it and certainly can’t make it hotter or colder.

Years of data tells us the earth cycles to extremes. Those very people who lisp, limp wristed “Climate Change,” are the same one’s who gave us evolution and the extinction of Dinosaurs. What did they fart themselves to death? Facts are facts and until someone can prove to me that the earth actually bounced off my head, I’m going to stick to a more common opinion. Something known as, theory. Now, if you’ll please excuse me, my bandages need changed.

How many Obama’s does it take to screw in a light bulb? Wait, that’s not right, let’s try that again. How many Obama’s does it take to screw up America. The answer is obvious and I already know the joke is sophomoric, but hey our President has Joe Biden, so I am perfectly entitled to stay stupid things. And since your reading this probably means one of two things, either you’re stupid also or you’re sick and tired of people in the media rubbing their tingling thighs as they make verbal love to their puppet master.

Perhaps I’m a little too cynical when it comes to the medias reporting on Obama and his minions. So, I’ll try to be more, what’s that old, rarely practiced word…, “Objective.” Yeah, that’s it. Let’s start with yesterday’s press conference for instance. He was asked 13 questions in approximately fifty five drooling media minutes and averaged a record breaking 4 minutes per answer. It should have been on pay per view.

The action packed, no holds barred spar between those snide nerds and the pencil necked dork standing at the podium was a definite edge of the seat spectacle. I wouldn’t have missed it even if it was on every single channel in North American, the Andes’ and yet unheard of countries to be created by our new world. But, I did. I watched a couple of questions, but the shear excitement was too stressful for my fragile conservative heart and mind. Obama tackled each cheap shot question like Ali.

He didn’t have to take on those silly softball questions about the upcoming release of 30 Gitmo Detainees, or the handing out like cotton candy all those insignificant top secret CIA documents about terrorist interrogations. He didn’t have to dilly dally with the recent NYC scare fest created by Air Force One or the economy which everyone already knows the government is becoming the biggest shareholder. Nope, he dealt with tough ones. Thanks media for keeping “Ol’ Rubber Side” on his toes. Where would we be without you?

The media baked the biggest crap cake America has ever seen and has spend the better part of the last 3 years telling us to eat more. They know it taste bad, but they’re not eating it, just feeding it to us. I for one am so darn full of the media’s crappy, irresponsible and unethical baking practices, I want them all in Ramsey’s Hell’s Kitchen. Take ‘em Ramsey and tell them to get the heck out. Let’s get some people in the kitchen who know what it means to cook.

Yes, there will be many, many, many more, “hey look at me, I’m the President. Aren’t I pretty” news conferences. The media will steadily shove crap cake down our throats and we’ll continue to scratch our heads wondering how we got to where we’re at today. But, just remember, as he stands on the ladder, trying to screw up America and the media holds him steady, America is the greatest civilization in the history of the world. There will be crumbs and we will pick them up and make a bigger, better and stronger cake. Only this time, sorry Mr. Media, it won’t taste like crap.

Rom Emanuel said, “Never let a crisis go to waste.” So, we can fully expect the Swine Flu which has killed less people in the past week than people falling out of Indonesian Apricot trees, to be the launching pad of Healthcare reform. I don’t know for sure if there is such a tree, but I am confident, if there is, people could have fallen to their deaths stealing it’s succulent fruit. It still remains that we are being led to believe that we are one alarm shy of being fat and center (didn’t want to use dead center, too macabre) of a global Pandemic. Obama’s team is assembled and the pieces are falling into place. All we need is fear. And lots of it.

For nearly a week the media, which incidentally happened to overwhelmingly support, ehem, Mr. Obama, have been steadily ramping up it’s efforts to grind into our impressionable simple minds that the Swine Flu is scary. Very scary. Flights to Mexico have been diverted, cruise ship’s re-routed, travelers canceling long time vacation plans and Chinese paper mask manufacturers have started hiring by the thousands, are all the result of the media’s relentless attack. It was today when we had the first, let me repeat, t-h-e first death in the U.S. It doesn’t matter they were in the U.S. from Mexico to seek medical attention. It only matters it happened HERE! Run! We’re all going to DIE!!!

The message may be subliminal but it’s there. All this hype is meant to let people know that just like the economic crisis, only the government can protect us. They are the only ones big enough to produce enough vaccine to save American from certain death. Or, at least the 2 or 3 who may be in danger. They are the only ones with enough resources to organize treatment for masses of scared sheep flocking to get the cure. They are the only ones who can speak to a nation to instill calm and reassurance during a time of such crisis. Yet, so far the best they have done for us is to tell us to wash our hands and if we feel sick, stay home. Wash my hands? Done! Now what all mighty and knowing government?

We are being led down a dark and precarious path where our government has unilaterally decided we the American people are too stupid, too weak and too poor to fend for ourselves. This crisis will undoubtedly lead to universal healthcare. Thusly, just as we will be told the type of cars we like and can drive, how much employees should be paid and when we can use our government ration of electricity, we will also be at their whim for all our medical decisions. Imagine the implications of such a change.

Who will get cancer treatment? If you’re too old or too sick, will you be told to go home and die so someone else younger or with a higher social status can have the bed? Universal healthcare is nothing more than Socialized medicine. Rationing and typical government red tape hindering Doctors who will be paid by the government will be dictated to as to the types of treatment to render and who to treat will be rampant. Politicians running anything is scary enough, but when they politicize our healthcare, now that’s is scary.

So, get ready as Obama heeds the drum beat of his buddy Rom and launches the biggest missile in his Socialist arsenal and drops it square on us all. The Swine Flu is an inane if not innocuous virus. But the media, still in their euphoric state of seeing their man in the White House is in bed with him and are complicit in making us all believe it is more, much more. Simplify all the hype and read into the message being conveyed. Yes, people are sick, but even the White House has said, just wash your hands. More importantly, do not climb Indonesian Apricot trees.

I can’t even fly my new Smurf kite 200 feet up without men in black suits surrounding my “compound.” That’s my house because I fly an American flag and sport a choose life bumper sticker on my SUV. I’m kind of an in your face antagonize. Still, I can’t figure out yet which symbol pisses off the rad left more. Even less, where I stand on the watch list. Soon, I’ll blatantly flaunt a what would Jesus do T-shirt. That’ll get me closer to the top. Though, I’ll never be able to top the Statue of Liberty fly by Obama gifted New York yesterday.

We should never underestimate the influence Obama has. Just today, Arlen Specter announced he was running as a Democrat. This, after 30 years as a Republican…. Pause…,(waiting for liberals to finish throwing up dinner after I used the ’R’ word). O.k., two day ago, “Hey Arlen, wanna fly my trick daddy ride?” Arlen, jumping up and down, “Yes, yes, yes, please, can I, can I?” Then, kaboom! Air Force One has a “photo op!” Coincidence? I don’t think so. It all makes sense. Just like one of Obama’s off the cuff speeches minus the teleprompter. There’s no other logical explanation. Obama, has pimped his cruiser for a new whore in the Democratic house.

The Republican party will never be the same without good ‘ol Arlen. I think I can speak for the other person who believes Arlen’s legacy will be, um…, who cares. Though, I’m sure he has something to leave as a measure of his effectiveness and principles. Oh, yeah a cool photo! Other than that, good rid dens. At least we know where he stands now.

Air Force One is now one of Obama’s high priced whores, Arlen is his new call girl and we are all his John’s. The nest time, someone, whoever decides to scare the crap of New York the way Obama’s administration did yesterday, modify the flight plan. Go somewhere else. We’re getting to the point of having enough. Now, leave me alone, my Smurf kite is calling me and I’ve got to get closer to the top of the watch list.

Water Boarding? Are we kidding; Torture? Endless SNL re-runs with Tina Fay impersonating Sarah Palin is torture. Sometimes I get so damn confused that what would otherwise be normal, rational people, could somehow distort reality so much, I can’t discern real from rubber boots. The kind of boots worn by pig farmers and the only uniform needed when listening to left wing nut jobs.

Pearl, a journalist had his head hacked off with a dull knife! What, no water in the dessert? There could have been a Niagara falls and the monkey’s in sheets (the radicals, sorry have to clarify since my neck likes where my head is) would still opt for the most extremes of torture. Only they call it death. Imagine what he went through before losing his life.

He was blindfolded and his hands tied behind his back. Forced to beg for his life and hoping the whole time that somehow, his captures would show a hint of humility and allow him to live. To go home to his family and live a life like most American’s. His mind swirling with fear, doubt, confusion. The last seconds leading up to the first cold swipe of the dull blade was torture. The blood spewing from his throbbing arteries as his head is slowly severed from his body is, torture. The millions of hits on the web of people wanting to see with their own eyes and the media engrossed in the gore show as one of their own is mutilated, is torture. His family, knowing how and seeing how and never understanding why he was murdered the way he was, is torture. And then, water boarding; TORTURE?!!

There is nothing funny about the atrocities and the radical justifications for doing what they have done to Americans around the globe. If ever there was a reason to understand why drugs are and should be illegal, it’s now. All those hippies from the 60’s are now in control of our Country. The weed they had back then must have been really good, because it’s definitely fried their minds. Now, they are trying to fry the rest of us too. For someone to not see the hypocrisy between “man made events” (sounds so warm and fuzzy doesn’t it?) like beheading and suicide bombings and then calling water boarding torture, they have got to be high. The same people who tout the rule of law are the same ones who seek amnesty for illegal immigrants, condoning the killing of late term babies, and sanctuary cities. Ooh, the law dude, we got to enforce the law…, wait…, is that a unicorn on top of that cloud, dude? Sooo, cool. Give me a break!

All those bed wetting, pot smoking hippies, including the one in the white house who did Coke in college, have no idea what torture is. What they do have is a common disdain of what has made America the greatest society in human history. They prefer Marxism, Socialism, Communism. Anything, but Americanism. They have spent the last remaining brain cells they have, trying to bring us to our knees and continue to be complicit in supporting those radical organizations which agree with their distorted version of America.

No, water boarding is not torture. Beheading innocent civilians, gunning down women and children and forcing the mentally handicapped the strap a bomb on is torture. Making it through the next 4 years with the most mind numbing imbeciles our country has ever produced is torture. The best we can hope for is enough coke and pot in D.C. to make them lay on their back and make cloud flowers. To do absolutely as little as possible. This will be the only way we’ll still have enough left to rebuild what our Soldiers have been fighting and dying for. If we’re successful and survive, I have two little words that will bring shivers to those big, mean, terrorist; Gurgle, gurgle!

Hope? What is hope? I hope you get healthy soon. Or, I hope you like your new job. What in the hell does Obama mean hen he says “hope?” Hope is a wish, not a probability. Anyone who flaunts this as anything other is a blatant manipulator in the same light as snake oil salesmen of old. Obama plays to people he knows will buy his message hook line and sinker. People who have made a living dreaming and wishing rather than thinking and doing. The only exception would be the other elitists such as Oprah who want to be invited to the party more than they would ever consider fighting for or defending this great country. Indeed, those people who are independent , responsible and have an inherent love of god and country, are immune to and angered by Obama and his ilk.

This may be uncomfortable to anyone who is voting for Obama, but to be as direct as possible, you are an ignorant, co-dependent self loathing and thankless representation of what makes America great. Yes, you have a right to believe and say whatever you want. You also have the right to vote for whomever you feel like voting for. But, with these rights comes a responsibly to ensure those people who you vote for are going to represent you, protect and uphold the Constitution of the United States and to serve America above all else.

Obama does not respect the Constitution, Democracy or America. His rhetoric spews of an elitist who much like the Madonna’s of Hollywood who use fake accents while trashing the very country and people which made them who they are, think they are better. He has the audacity to tell Americans they are self-serving, selfish bigots. The only people I know who are bigots, hate lying, manipulative and condescending political thugs like Obama. The only race we consider is the one which ultimately leads to the White House.

Contrary to the liberal efforts over the last 30-40 years to demoralize, disenfranchise and minimize those who do not share their contempt for America and Christianity, they have only made us stronger. Now, we are angry and ready to take this battle to the polls. We will, one by one, separate but united, young, old, white, black, red, on our feet or in our chairs make you see once and for all, that our love for this country is deeper and stronger than any loathing you may have for the same. So, to all the people who would rather live under the reign of Obama’s Socialist regime for four years than in freedom no matter the cost now is the time for you to practice Obama‘s empty message of “hope.”

He who walks in the steps of men of questionable character is a man who in of himself of questionable character. Obama lacks nothing in eloquence. History reveals much of men who with silver tongues heralded massive crowds of swooning believers. Who all in good faith would then place their livelihood in what they come to trust in the hands of a great gifted man. Despite knowing little more than what the man wants others to know. Hidden truths of a past which if known by others would diminish or ruin the façade.

He will project nurturing, caring and empathetic messages. His speeches resound heartily within the psyche of the people. Change and hope, normally empty words suddenly have taken on connotations of prosperity and peace. Innuendo whispered of plausible enemies who if the followers were to march in unison to the drum beat of the messenger will be defeated. A message where affluence is a sin when others are dubbed “less fortunate.” Like a mother consoling a child wishing for a toy they do not have, he’ll caress listeners with a better way. One which all children could share and every child would never be without what others have but they do not. Sacrifice is mute as mother will provide.

Obama’s ability to convey messages through empty words are masterful. Many have succumb to his message of hope and change. It is clear Obama is a man with a destiny. Albeit unclear what that is. He believes in the commonality of man-kind. A world where all people share the fortunes of those more capable and driven. Where one who lacks the initiative to achieve others will provide. These “Victims of society” will be rewarded while the “Lucky” will be punished. In an Obama world, attributes which propel Americans towards success, will be the fruit trees from which others will freely pluck the rewards. They’ll need not contribute. Just merely be.

It is not enough to have the opportunity, the freedom to make choices, right or wrong as they may be in an Obama world. Instead, those who do make the right choices and work hard to succeed are considered fortuitous. Fortune is not earned it just is. It is easy to take something away when it never would have happened were it not for luck in first place. Obama wants the money, prestige and success of those “fortunate” to be shared amongst us people. For many, Obama’s vision and ideals will require little more than their vote on November 4^th. Obama is buying votes with others money. A no risk investment which yields a powerful stick.

When people sell their voices something that is free the inherent price for the goods sold by the man with the silver tongue is the loss of ones personal freedom. No longer will America be the land of opportunity where man was free to seek the American Dream. Those who have will fight to keep what they’ve earned . Those who have not will fight to take it. Socialism. Class warfare. Obama has become who he is because of the ideals and beliefs bestowed upon him by others who would relish the destruction of our envied democracy. He is of these, for these and a representation of these very same characters. All of which who lack that which they are; Character. So too shall those who choose to walk in Obama’s footsteps by voting him to be President of the United States of America, be of questionable character.

Obama’s Socialist ideology is finally being revealed. Albeit, it may be too little, too late. Thanks to the mainstream media’s complicity in hiding the truth about one of the most radical political opportunist in history to become our next president, we know almost nothing of the real man. This, with only a week left before masses of ignorant voters will march to the polls potentially selling America's sole to the proverbial devil. Even though alternative media sources such as Hannity and Rush Limbaugh have been at the forefront in exposing Obama’s real agenda, no one has mentioned who has really been driving Obama’s Kool-Aid bus; the DNC.

The DNC know who Obama is. Yet, even with the knowledge about his radical affiliations, Marxist positions and fundamental disdain for the Constitution, they crowned him nonetheless. Obama holds in near contempt the ideals and perspectives of most Americans. This is the clearest example of subversion by what used to be the party of JFK. Thanks to the DNC, we’re moving rapidly from an America blessed with individual responsibility, self reliance and love of country to becoming the worlds largest Socialist collective.

The DNC leadership and Democratic party as a whole with Howard Dean at the helm have therefore identified and aligned themselves with some of the most extreme, radical leftist in America’s political history. Centrist of the Democratic party by not speaking up against their own party have shown themselves to be as left or even worse to be spineless puppets who instead of representing the people who voted them in, will do anything to stay in power. To include sticking it to their own country.

Few American’s hold the beliefs of Obama who has a history of aligning himself with people who hate this country. Rather than investigating a man who could not even get a Confidential Security Clearance to get access to any government facility, Americans have been shoveled a healthy dose of empty words such as “Change” and “Hope” and should these words result in Obama’s election, then just as the DNC, Democrats and the mainstream media expected, American’s are stupid.

America allows people the right to dissent but to subvert the principles, ideals and will of the American people is to be an enemy of a free people.

“You can plant the seed of submission by all means, use words as water in hopes to reap the fruits of your dreams. But where man’s will to be free is strong, the roots of freedom are deep, your wicket seed will die. And though you will return with more tries, you will never be more than a little idealistic man filled with empty lies. American’s are born, live and will die free, something Socialism, no matter how you say it, will never be.”

 

Why does the end seem so near? With each day, impending doom is relished by a media seemingly set upon creating a perception whereby we are forced to face our fears. Famine, global warming, water shortages, world war, McDonalds and saturated fat are crammed down our throats like a child refusing nasty cough syrup. Republicans did this, Democrats said that, Wal-Mart and Oil companies are the evil amongst us. Why is it we hear of nothing more than the least of that which we fear?

As humanity swells into divisive sub-sub-cultures and the world we live in is enveloped by clouds of disparity evidenced by incessant media comparisons, our unity is not but a chasm. One by which we look for truths seemingly more distant than before. A black hole created by a machine which is driven less by honesty than by money. This, amongst all that is fiction, is fact.

We willingly and eagerly entrust our collective human sponges otherwise known as brains to others to expose distant happenings around the globe. Some, often being the road over from us. Anxiously, we peer into the fragmented reality relished as TV to absorb the words that will determine our opinions, form false solidarities or incite action never to be realized. The words dancing with visual stimuli form opinions in our heads in a designed manipulation to ultimately define our destinies in ways such as when poems could transcend even the hardest of hearts.

We are teased by things yet to come. Yes, we must anticipate the impending truth or horror and in doing so, venture into a world of must haves and if not‘s. Our eagerness to hear the end which is by all previous accounts near, is met with ads touting all that is good. We can lose weight, make more money, save with no interest for years to come and even improve our sexual drive. So hot are the possibilities proposed, our previous bleak futures glean with light once more. Until, the truth is upon us.

Far is it the distance between points when life is over for us all and yet it just begins. So much so, imaginations will never cater the meal in a way when dinner is truly realized. Our perceived worlds are inundated daily with a machine which absorbs less our minds than ours dollars. When we slow the desire for dollars, focus on truth and have a sincere want for a better humanity irrespective of arbitrary cost, perhaps then, we will truly know when the end is near.

Let the games begin.., in earnest. No holds barred fisticuffs from the right and left flying in the midst of self serving handlers, 527’s and “to the death” believers swirling like ravenous sewer rats anxiously waiting their prey to turn it’s spineless back. Alfred Hitchcock would be proud of the macabre exhibition modern politicians emote and of the appetite the “non biased” media sucks the juices from dying aspirations of the who they don’t wanna-be’s. This season is sure to excite, impress and if all goes well, make piles of poop for the world to see and smell. Trust me when I say, if it was poop worth it weight in substance, Disney would have already made a ride for it. Although, they do have the new Simpson’s ride. With only two to choose from, our choice of poo is limited but more defined.

This season brings old man whitey vs. I’m black Obama of a white momma. There, it’s out there. The cards are on the table. Age and race. The defining elements of this election season. Age has a million years experience and is close to having to wear diapers. While Race has no experience and, I’m not sure about this one, buy I think he’s just now out of diapers. Either way, we have the status quo, should be on Smithsonian display Senator facing off against he who knows how to speak about 1 year of um,..?. Which would be better for America is the spend it when you get it rebate check question.

What peril faces the new mega leader who assumes the helm? Terrorism? Nope, seems the Supreme Court has solved that issue already. If “Mike” (I don’t want to stereotype) blows us up, he can be arrested and taken to jail to await trial. If all goes well for the Johnny Cochran like defense attorneys, “Mike will be back at the bowling alley drinking camel juice with his fine hairy friends by the end of the week. Oops, this just in…, “fifty story bowling alley filled with women children and irreverent martyrs was blown up by criminals making a political statement.” Oh well, problem solved anyway. Terrorist and liberal professors are sure to fear the power of justice and cower into submission. Unfortunately though, rest comes not easily for the weary, with no more terrorism to toil the days away with, there still remains global warming.

This trivial issue will be no match for either one. Obama of a white momma, yielding his mighty pen will swipe away all the greedy profits of private companies who refine, ship and distribute the oil to the rest of us non green little people. A brilliant and none to early solution to supply and demand. Prices will sour to fifty thousand dollars a gallon making it so not even Mike could afford to drive to his next felonious political statement. On the other spectrum and this is a great example of with age comes wisdom, we get a three hundred million dollar lollipop for whoever comes up with the next best thing to the energy bunny. Again, problem solved. Wait, we just solved global warming, the energy crisis and Political activist like out on bail Mike‘s riding Air Jordan‘s to work. Gosh, what’s left? Healthcare? Social Security?

Indeed the real task for the next great Oz will likely be selling snake oil to the American peasants who have waited an eternity for the great one to save us from our misery. Let there be glee, dancing in the streets and soup kitchens for all. A senior salesman feeding off the corpse of a dying country slaughtered by the very cannibalistic tribe from which he comes. It doesn’t matter if he’s old, black or as we almost bit into, female, the end game is crap. Spoon fed by the media and pundits alike to anyone willing to swallow. Yes, we’ll see kicking screaming and “poopy pants” name calling by both Age and Race, Right and Left and Black and White. Let’s just get through it so we can get back to our simple, mundane, hope we don’t die from terrorist, global warming, starvation or impending brain implosion, lives. The game is on and America my friends, is the board. Anyone got a get out hell free card!!!

What is wrong with sharing? We learned as children to share with our Brothers or Sisters didn’t we. We are but one house called America. We are all of the same maker even though some claim to not have one. So, why in adulthood is sharing the wealth so hard to digest for all those people working to make a living for themselves and their families? I personally want Bill Gates to share with me. Hey Bill! Helloooo, let’s make it fair. I’ll give you half and you give me half. There, isn’t sharing easy. Me and Bill just did. So, what’s your problem.

This Joe the plumber guy stuck his nose in and asked our Ordained President of United States Church of the media elite a nosy question. How dare he question the wisdom of a man who’s been to Germany and can vote “Present” with such sacrifice? He wasn’t speaking for me. Nope, I want to be rich and I don’t want to have to work for it. Just like all those great Socialist beneficiaries before us. God rest their sole. If only they had an Obama like we do. He knows how to make Socialism appetizing. First, forget about things like wealth redistribution, welfare and taxes. With a wipity wopity woo the swooning masses will understand and accept Obama‘s prayers for America. Let us pray, Lord let us all dig deep into our selfishness and greediness. Let us reach deep, real deep so we might invest in America’s future and reach out to all American’s who struggle to buy expensive houses and SUV‘s, Amen. This guy Stalin had nothing on our guy. He’s good…damn good.

Soon, not only will be sharing and investing, we’ll also be educating and healing. I’m getting warm and tingly thinking about as I write. If this is what America’s founding flower father’s felt at Woodstock as they mapped all our futures, bring it on Jimmy, I’m with you. Every kid has a right to higher education. If you don’t believe me, read the bill of rights. Or, is it in the constitution? I get them confused. But, don’t worry, all the new kids won’t they’re going to know them by memory after attending college for free. Ah, public college, like public lower education which I get my incompetence from, will make us all better. Watch out Cuba, we’re going to kick your butt in civics. Think of all the Doctors.

I can’t wait till I can walk into any local clinic with my syringe and get my first free shot. Let me rephrase that. I can’t wait till I call the clinic to make an appointment so in six months, I can get my first free shot. Of free tetanus. The rusty nail thing will have to wait for later, we had to get that tetanus taken care of and not a moment too soon. Unlike the patients of yore who had insurance and could pretty much see a doctor when they wanted, American’s will save loads of money. Some who may heel on their own and not have to see a doctor at all. While others who were really too sick anyway will simply pass away. These two possibilities will keep the lines moving swiftly as more and more slots open up for those patients who really need a doctor. And did I mention it’s FREE! See Bill, sharing is fun.

I could ramble on for years like the media has about the man who is Obama. But, I would be wasting my breath. Or in this case, finger tips. Everyone knows everything there is to know already. He’s for hope and change and Madonna likes him. What else do you need to know. Unlike Palin who no one knows, Obama is like an open book. Grant you non converted they may be blank pages but rest assured, they will be filled with a new history. When hope is like dancing lilies in an open field and change becomes the warmth of a sunny spring day. All the birds will chirp, change, change from trees abound. And then, within four years, America came tumbling down. Then, all the king horses and all the kings men could not put America back together again. Hey Bill, keep you money. You’ve earned it. I won’t be holding a piece sign with my hand for Obama‘s plan for America. But, I will be holding up a finger.