It’s nearly a month since Bo stepped into the limelight as America’s newest top dog and as everyone knows if you want to be a star, you’re fair game. But, we must first ask how exactly Bo got his name. Is it a coincidence his name happens to be the same initial’s as, who other than Barak Obama. Rightfully, ‘BHO’ wouldn’t have the same kick like ‘Bo’ so narcissism dictated and they did right by leaving the ‘H’ out of Bo’s name. So, from now on and to ensure a complete understanding which Bo I’m referring to, I’ll refer to the Bo who goes #2 on the White House lawn as Bo and the other Bo, who goes #2 on all of us as “Biped Bo.”

American’s and the world at large are wondering why Biped Bo doesn’t share Bo with us more. We waited in anticipation for the day when he would be chosen. We sat, glued to NBC and CNN waiting for the day when who knew what dog we would be graced with. Personally, I couldn’t eat or sleep for weeks because the sheer suspense was too much for my fragile mind to endure. Then, after what seemed an eternity, there he was. The most beautiful Portuguese something or other Mutt we ever set our eyes on. Thank goodness the wait was over. It’s like America’s four legged hairy child and we gave collective birth to our pal Bo. A day, no one will easily forget for sure.

But now, where is Bo? He’s not giving interviews. We don’t know what he’s eating or when he goes potty. We know almost nothing of our beloved new pooch. I think we’ve earned the right to see Biped Bo and Bo together frolicking freely across the immaculate manicured lawn. The mainstream media’s focusing on Biped Bo and Joe eating burgers is a waste of good journalism. It’s time for our respected newspapers to start focusing on the real stories like Bo. It’s not always got to be about Biped Bo. We deserve more of our canine king.

As Biped Bo works to remake the world from behind his teleprompter, Bo should be beside him. Not hidden away in some luxurious guest house with a Nanny and Butler. Bo deserves better and so does America and the World. Bo needs to be face behind a cause, a celebratory cabinet member who will in his own way, make us all better people. Biped, it’s time that you make Bo more than just First Dog. We Taxpayers would happily pay a seven figure salary to have Bo in a key position. He’ll be the best cabinet member you have.

He’s never had to pay taxes, so the right wing tax evasion ploy is mute. Unlike your pal Joe, he’ll know when to shut up and won’t required a staff of 12 to tell us what he meant to say after he says it. If you a loose leash, he’ll be able to intimidate those Chrysler lawyers better than what you have now. He’s certainly more photogenic than Janet Reno, er Napolitano. Sorry, they look alike. Even better, instead of just saying you won’t release those infamous Flyover photo’s you could just say Bo ate them, problem solved. You and the world would be better if Bo was more than just your token pooch.

I hope my arguments are taken seriously so that soon Biped Bo will make perhaps the only sound decision to be made. Use Bo, for you and us. Bo will be better respected than all of your staff and we’ll be more apt to focus on him rather than Biped. We need to keep the world at bay, prevent terrorist from attacking us and make sure those shameless rich people are brought to justice. Give Bo an opportunity and watch as America’s first Black dog changes America. Maybe he’ll even keep Biped so busy with him, we might just make it through the next four years. You go Bo.

I must come clean. There is no reason for me to hide from the truth anymore and it would be a true misrepresentation for me not to share the truth with my readers. Have I used “true” to much? If so, I apologize as I know it’s not a real word anymore. I am a homophobe, islamaphobe, racist bigot, domestic terrorist, sexist and anti-earth. In fact I am anything that those who don’t want to truly debate call me. It’s time for me to accept it and finally come to terms with the fact that soon, I will be attending one of Obama’s “Change” camps.

I will arrive at 10:00 p.m. just after palates. The instructor will file me along with all the other right wing ingrates and make us stand side by side. He’ll be intimidating with his hip hugger checkered bell bottoms and bright orange blouse. He swings his man-purse behind him, places his hands on his hips, elbows back and with a huff, begins our first lesson. “What arrrrrrre you wearing? Oh my gosh, my James has got to see you.” He prances hastily towards the door, “James, sweetheart…you have to come here, honey. This is the worst I have ever seen.”

Classes will consist of How to be a man’s man, What women really want and why men can’t give it to them, Allah and you and the most important of all, Al Gore’s how I made God and why he wants’ you to buy Carbon Credits. Rosie will be a special guest speaker for All Skanks Day and as part of the celebration there’ll be a pie throwing contest and Bush effigy burning. It will be an arduous and demanding camp. But once complete, the world will be much better off.

No more war or killings. Guns will not be needed and pretty flowers will replace rebel flags in the south. Camels, genetically engineered to eat only roses will replace SUV’s. No more nasty poopies, only crap that smell like roses. Cows will be pets, fish will be given human rights by the United Nations and other domestic animals will be provided affordable housing. Who could argue with such change and progress?

Congress will vote to have the ‘P’ removed from President so Obama can live in the White House forever and Nancy Pelosi will be known as the Queen of hearts. Decks of cards will no longer contain Aces or Kings. Unites States of America will be changed to Martin Luther King Land and the Rainbow Flag replaces the stars and stripes. Euphoria will sweep the world and all because of “Change.”

I am going to chuck my lunch right now. If the left had their way and it looks like they are, we are all going to be choking down our alfalfa and sprouts. The way I see it, is this land was willed to us by our forefathers and it is being disrespected and ruined by a bunch of naïve twits. If we don’t stand up for what we believe in and take back what rightfully belongs to us, it will be gone forever. So get off our rosy smelling camels, stop giving Al Gore your money and tell Obama, “This land is your land, this land is my land.” Now back to camp. See ya, guy men!