Posted by
C.B. Stiggins on Tuesday, May 19, 2009 7:17:00 PM
With all the hoopla regarding Biped Bo’s new fuel efficiency standards, I for one think there is some positive to glean from it. In fact, if we step back, way back and look at it harder, we’ll see our concerns are unwarranted. Apart from the obvious, job losses, less vehicle for more money, circuses having to re-do their clown acts because the 25 clowns out of a small car won’t be as funny, there’s some certain benefits.
Like, the old days of flying from state to state and renting a car to get to business meetings will be long gone. Thanks to Biped Bo and his blind sheep, we’ll be able to check our cars in as a carry-on. No worries about the fuel or oil. The 8 oz. bottles will be sufficient to carry enough corn oil and pig fat to operate the car for the first 100 miles down hill and 17 uphill, with a push. There should be very little traffic on the main arteries so no jams to worry about.
Major roads will be reserved for Biped Bo and other Liberal Elitist to use. Our “skitter scatter’s” will fit finely on bike paths and make seeing the country side that much more enjoyable. Imagine sputtering along on your way to work on an early spring morning and seeing all the flowers and nature as you pass by the Mansions of Al Gore and his ilk. Slowing down to smell the roses will save lives as stress will a bygone malady.
There’ll be no smelling those icky exhaust fumes while being stuck in traffic or tunnels either. With most cars running on things like grease and bio diesel, the aroma’s of French fries, pop corn and the occasional fart as some cars will run on waste matter, will surround us. With a constant sensory overload, we’ll be less inclined to eat as well. We’ll be nauseated by the thought of food. This will benefit not just us, but our world brother’s as well.
We’ll be able to send more of our food for free to Africa and Asia as we fat, lazy inconsiderate American’s will drop the pounds and won’t be revered anymore by the UN as gluttons or selfish. Obesity will become a mental disease and fat people will be secured in state run facilities. As a result, women will spend more time at the public beaches because those fatty’s in thongs will be safely locked away from the more perfect populous. Babes on the beach, only men with hot bod’s, it’s a veritable Eden thanks to Biped Bo.
There are so many benefits; we would be remiss to not prance gleefully through prairies of wildflowers. We should worship Biped Bo for he has granted this opportunity to us. Smaller cars, means less fatty’s in thongs, drop and go auto’s and less stress. We need to see the big picture for as we transition from a capitalist, rule of law Republic into a European 3rd world, second rate socialist collective, we won’t care the size of car we drive. All we’ll care about is how stupid, weak minded, sellouts we were when we realize that we had an opportunity to fight back but didn’t. So, let’s all either take our Hugo’s or whatever and be good little citizens or stand up, scream and take back our damn country. How many Liberals can we shove in one of Biped Bo’s little socialist cars and will Harry, Nancy or Biped Bo drive? Let’s find out, I’ll buy the gas, here’s a nickel. That should get them to Canada and away from the UNITES STATES of AMERICA!