It’s nearly a month since Bo stepped into the limelight as America’s newest top dog and as everyone knows if you want to be a star, you’re fair game. But, we must first ask how exactly Bo got his name. Is it a coincidence his name happens to be the same initial’s as, who other than Barak Obama. Rightfully, ‘BHO’ wouldn’t have the same kick like ‘Bo’ so narcissism dictated and they did right by leaving the ‘H’ out of Bo’s name. So, from now on and to ensure a complete understanding which Bo I’m referring to, I’ll refer to the Bo who goes #2 on the White House lawn as Bo and the other Bo, who goes #2 on all of us as “Biped Bo.”

American’s and the world at large are wondering why Biped Bo doesn’t share Bo with us more. We waited in anticipation for the day when he would be chosen. We sat, glued to NBC and CNN waiting for the day when who knew what dog we would be graced with. Personally, I couldn’t eat or sleep for weeks because the sheer suspense was too much for my fragile mind to endure. Then, after what seemed an eternity, there he was. The most beautiful Portuguese something or other Mutt we ever set our eyes on. Thank goodness the wait was over. It’s like America’s four legged hairy child and we gave collective birth to our pal Bo. A day, no one will easily forget for sure.

But now, where is Bo? He’s not giving interviews. We don’t know what he’s eating or when he goes potty. We know almost nothing of our beloved new pooch. I think we’ve earned the right to see Biped Bo and Bo together frolicking freely across the immaculate manicured lawn. The mainstream media’s focusing on Biped Bo and Joe eating burgers is a waste of good journalism. It’s time for our respected newspapers to start focusing on the real stories like Bo. It’s not always got to be about Biped Bo. We deserve more of our canine king.

As Biped Bo works to remake the world from behind his teleprompter, Bo should be beside him. Not hidden away in some luxurious guest house with a Nanny and Butler. Bo deserves better and so does America and the World. Bo needs to be face behind a cause, a celebratory cabinet member who will in his own way, make us all better people. Biped, it’s time that you make Bo more than just First Dog. We Taxpayers would happily pay a seven figure salary to have Bo in a key position. He’ll be the best cabinet member you have.

He’s never had to pay taxes, so the right wing tax evasion ploy is mute. Unlike your pal Joe, he’ll know when to shut up and won’t required a staff of 12 to tell us what he meant to say after he says it. If you a loose leash, he’ll be able to intimidate those Chrysler lawyers better than what you have now. He’s certainly more photogenic than Janet Reno, er Napolitano. Sorry, they look alike. Even better, instead of just saying you won’t release those infamous Flyover photo’s you could just say Bo ate them, problem solved. You and the world would be better if Bo was more than just your token pooch.

I hope my arguments are taken seriously so that soon Biped Bo will make perhaps the only sound decision to be made. Use Bo, for you and us. Bo will be better respected than all of your staff and we’ll be more apt to focus on him rather than Biped. We need to keep the world at bay, prevent terrorist from attacking us and make sure those shameless rich people are brought to justice. Give Bo an opportunity and watch as America’s first Black dog changes America. Maybe he’ll even keep Biped so busy with him, we might just make it through the next four years. You go Bo.

How many Obama’s does it take to screw in a light bulb? Wait, that’s not right, let’s try that again. How many Obama’s does it take to screw up America. The answer is obvious and I already know the joke is sophomoric, but hey our President has Joe Biden, so I am perfectly entitled to stay stupid things. And since your reading this probably means one of two things, either you’re stupid also or you’re sick and tired of people in the media rubbing their tingling thighs as they make verbal love to their puppet master.

Perhaps I’m a little too cynical when it comes to the medias reporting on Obama and his minions. So, I’ll try to be more, what’s that old, rarely practiced word…, “Objective.” Yeah, that’s it. Let’s start with yesterday’s press conference for instance. He was asked 13 questions in approximately fifty five drooling media minutes and averaged a record breaking 4 minutes per answer. It should have been on pay per view.

The action packed, no holds barred spar between those snide nerds and the pencil necked dork standing at the podium was a definite edge of the seat spectacle. I wouldn’t have missed it even if it was on every single channel in North American, the Andes’ and yet unheard of countries to be created by our new world. But, I did. I watched a couple of questions, but the shear excitement was too stressful for my fragile conservative heart and mind. Obama tackled each cheap shot question like Ali.

He didn’t have to take on those silly softball questions about the upcoming release of 30 Gitmo Detainees, or the handing out like cotton candy all those insignificant top secret CIA documents about terrorist interrogations. He didn’t have to dilly dally with the recent NYC scare fest created by Air Force One or the economy which everyone already knows the government is becoming the biggest shareholder. Nope, he dealt with tough ones. Thanks media for keeping “Ol’ Rubber Side” on his toes. Where would we be without you?

The media baked the biggest crap cake America has ever seen and has spend the better part of the last 3 years telling us to eat more. They know it taste bad, but they’re not eating it, just feeding it to us. I for one am so darn full of the media’s crappy, irresponsible and unethical baking practices, I want them all in Ramsey’s Hell’s Kitchen. Take ‘em Ramsey and tell them to get the heck out. Let’s get some people in the kitchen who know what it means to cook.

Yes, there will be many, many, many more, “hey look at me, I’m the President. Aren’t I pretty” news conferences. The media will steadily shove crap cake down our throats and we’ll continue to scratch our heads wondering how we got to where we’re at today. But, just remember, as he stands on the ladder, trying to screw up America and the media holds him steady, America is the greatest civilization in the history of the world. There will be crumbs and we will pick them up and make a bigger, better and stronger cake. Only this time, sorry Mr. Media, it won’t taste like crap.