How many Obama’s does it take to screw in a light bulb? Wait, that’s not right, let’s try that again. How many Obama’s does it take to screw up America. The answer is obvious and I already know the joke is sophomoric, but hey our President has Joe Biden, so I am perfectly entitled to stay stupid things. And since your reading this probably means one of two things, either you’re stupid also or you’re sick and tired of people in the media rubbing their tingling thighs as they make verbal love to their puppet master.

Perhaps I’m a little too cynical when it comes to the medias reporting on Obama and his minions. So, I’ll try to be more, what’s that old, rarely practiced word…, “Objective.” Yeah, that’s it. Let’s start with yesterday’s press conference for instance. He was asked 13 questions in approximately fifty five drooling media minutes and averaged a record breaking 4 minutes per answer. It should have been on pay per view.

The action packed, no holds barred spar between those snide nerds and the pencil necked dork standing at the podium was a definite edge of the seat spectacle. I wouldn’t have missed it even if it was on every single channel in North American, the Andes’ and yet unheard of countries to be created by our new world. But, I did. I watched a couple of questions, but the shear excitement was too stressful for my fragile conservative heart and mind. Obama tackled each cheap shot question like Ali.

He didn’t have to take on those silly softball questions about the upcoming release of 30 Gitmo Detainees, or the handing out like cotton candy all those insignificant top secret CIA documents about terrorist interrogations. He didn’t have to dilly dally with the recent NYC scare fest created by Air Force One or the economy which everyone already knows the government is becoming the biggest shareholder. Nope, he dealt with tough ones. Thanks media for keeping “Ol’ Rubber Side” on his toes. Where would we be without you?

The media baked the biggest crap cake America has ever seen and has spend the better part of the last 3 years telling us to eat more. They know it taste bad, but they’re not eating it, just feeding it to us. I for one am so darn full of the media’s crappy, irresponsible and unethical baking practices, I want them all in Ramsey’s Hell’s Kitchen. Take ‘em Ramsey and tell them to get the heck out. Let’s get some people in the kitchen who know what it means to cook.

Yes, there will be many, many, many more, “hey look at me, I’m the President. Aren’t I pretty” news conferences. The media will steadily shove crap cake down our throats and we’ll continue to scratch our heads wondering how we got to where we’re at today. But, just remember, as he stands on the ladder, trying to screw up America and the media holds him steady, America is the greatest civilization in the history of the world. There will be crumbs and we will pick them up and make a bigger, better and stronger cake. Only this time, sorry Mr. Media, it won’t taste like crap.

I can’t even fly my new Smurf kite 200 feet up without men in black suits surrounding my “compound.” That’s my house because I fly an American flag and sport a choose life bumper sticker on my SUV. I’m kind of an in your face antagonize. Still, I can’t figure out yet which symbol pisses off the rad left more. Even less, where I stand on the watch list. Soon, I’ll blatantly flaunt a what would Jesus do T-shirt. That’ll get me closer to the top. Though, I’ll never be able to top the Statue of Liberty fly by Obama gifted New York yesterday.

We should never underestimate the influence Obama has. Just today, Arlen Specter announced he was running as a Democrat. This, after 30 years as a Republican…. Pause…,(waiting for liberals to finish throwing up dinner after I used the ’R’ word). O.k., two day ago, “Hey Arlen, wanna fly my trick daddy ride?” Arlen, jumping up and down, “Yes, yes, yes, please, can I, can I?” Then, kaboom! Air Force One has a “photo op!” Coincidence? I don’t think so. It all makes sense. Just like one of Obama’s off the cuff speeches minus the teleprompter. There’s no other logical explanation. Obama, has pimped his cruiser for a new whore in the Democratic house.

The Republican party will never be the same without good ‘ol Arlen. I think I can speak for the other person who believes Arlen’s legacy will be, um…, who cares. Though, I’m sure he has something to leave as a measure of his effectiveness and principles. Oh, yeah a cool photo! Other than that, good rid dens. At least we know where he stands now.

Air Force One is now one of Obama’s high priced whores, Arlen is his new call girl and we are all his John’s. The nest time, someone, whoever decides to scare the crap of New York the way Obama’s administration did yesterday, modify the flight plan. Go somewhere else. We’re getting to the point of having enough. Now, leave me alone, my Smurf kite is calling me and I’ve got to get closer to the top of the watch list.