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Name: C.B. Stiggins
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Queen Pelosi, Wicked Witch of the Left?

The utter proficiency of Queen Pelosi’s “stab and run” skills is awe inspiring. Had we ten eyes, this insolent Public Employee would have poked all her fingers into them. Today, while nervously fielding reporters questions determined to get her to expound on last weeks controversial allegation the CIA lies all the time, she abruptly smacked the reporters down. While continuing to stand behind her previous statement, tactlessly, she made it ever so crystal clear no questions a propos enhanced interrogation would be entertained. She did however “graciously” tolerate one question only insolently reject any efforts on the part of reporters to prod further. The media and thus American’s demanding answers apparently are not worthy of this Public Servant turned Monarch’s honest, unfiltered answers.

Nancy can sing and she can dance, but her assault and run antics have paved the path for an almost certain political demise. She overlooked one important matter, the media does not take kindly to being rebuked or ignored. When the news geeks smell blood, they know it will lead to a person’s ruin. The savagery of slanted story hungry reporters will dine till Nancy’s flesh is ripped free from every bone. Then, they chew and chew till nothing remotely remains of which person the bones even belonged to. They did it to Bush and liberal or not, she’s weak and injured and reporters will pounce. So, I would advise Nancy to start making plans for her future in a career other than politics. The mere prospect has leant me to ponder just what kind of position would be suited for a disgraced politico like Queen Nancy?

Could a Brothel be a viable option for Pelosi? It may appear at first someone with such a high profiled left wing political career in a house of ill repute far stretched, but it’s not. I think it’s a perfect match. They are legendary for presenting false fronts and what may appear on the surface as innocent and enticing are instead expert liars and manipulators. They are solely interested in taking a customer’s money, not unlike Pelosi and her left wing minions. As the Madam she could regulate all tricks and govern who does what, where and when. Much like she does as the Speaker of the House now, she could be the dominatrix. With full control of the money generated at the expense of the providers she could then re-distribute as she see’s fit. Nancy could do like she does now and simply take the money then provide the attendants whatever she wants. In the end, the workers are just like taxpayers and ultimately are the ones who get screwed and Nancy, as the Government, gets fatter, richer and more priveledged. The more I think about it, I think she’ll feel right at home in a brothel. After all, Politician’s sell their power no different than a prostitute would sell their assets. But, if Madam Pelosi happened to not come to fruition there are still other opportunities hers for the picking.

Funeral Homes or Crematoriums would be another great career transition for Nancy. The dead can’t defend themselves against slanderous accusations. She could stand before the family of the deceased and try to spew lies to ruin the reputations of people she never met, much less knew anything about. Let’s see how long it takes for someone to pop some integrity into her head then. Fact is, her knowledge of what the CIA does or has done to protect the U.S. is about the same as any strange dead man. This is of course despite the fact it’s her job as Speaker of the House to know. When she’s done ripping the last vestiges of honor of the deceased, she could focus on the job at hand and which she’s most experienced at, burying or burning. Her political experience while not effectively the same skill set is nonetheless subjectively comparative. She is the driver of bus rolling over the messenger, killing anyone who opposes her. Burying or burning her political opponents is just ceremonial for Pelosi and her ilk.

Nancy may be Speaker of the House and 3rd in line to the Obama throne, but her effort to disgrace those hero’s who safeguard us is an embarrassment and slap in the face to all American’s. Humility, honesty and respect seem to be evasive attributes in Washington. But for Pelosi to lie unflinchingly by continuing to assert the CIA mislead her and American’s is insulting, condescending and grounds for dismissal from her position. Whether she works in a Brothel or Funeral home is up to her as long as she cannot defame the hero’s who protect us anymore. Oh! And when she does get the boot, take the jet and give her a bicycle to ride back to San Francisco on. Since she’s so concerned about the rest of us doing our part to save the earth, I’m sure she’ll be happy to put her pedals where her mouth is. Bye, bye Queen Pelosi and hello Fancy Nancy! Start chewing media and please don’t let us down, what’s left of your credibility depends on it.

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Carl’s Brief but Incredibly Perceptive and Accurate Weekly Political Predictions

Third in line to assume the Commander in Chief and CEO of our country and Nancy Pelosi drops the bomb on the CIA. It took incredible courage for Nancy to say, not merely imply, but actually say the CIA and Bush Administration lied, and lied regularly to Congress and the American People. Her first real tap dance with inquisitive reporters turned out to be a training video for the NSA in identifying nervousness. If terrorist were like Pelosi, forget about water boarding and sick the teeth grinding media on them. All indicators say reporters hate to be lied to and once they smell blood, the teeth penetrate deep. My prediction, Pelosi moves swiftly from Speaker of the House to a post more suited to her liberal, air headed and corruptness; Housewife.

Biped Bo, not one to shy away from controversy, especially when it flies in the face of most American’s, will be giving the Commencement speech at Our Lady, Notre Dame on Sunday. My prediction, Graduates while firmly standing with the Catholic pro-life morays, will take a second to do a “what if” reflection for at least one exception a little over 40 years ago.

Chrysler will be shutting down a 1,000 independent franchise dealerships in an effort to save money as they venture closer toward bankruptcy. The intend is apparently to maximize the sales of those dealerships with the best sales and eliminating those with the least. My prediction, Biped Bo is going to own a lot of crappy cars as he will force Chrysler to build cars no red blooded American would be caught dead in. Say, HUGO!

As the Supreme court loses one of it’s own, Biped Bo is actively seeking a replacement. In his defense he is looking for only the most credentialed and highly qualified to take the high seat. My predictions, the new judge will be a African-Hispanic, transgender lesbian woman in a wheelchair from Chicago who campaigned and voted for Biped Bo.

The Taliban will continue to be challenged in Afghanistan as American Troops bravely battle in the Valley of Death. The controversy over America’s culpability in the death of innocent Afghan’s will be further stirred as offensive strategies put more pressure on the region. My prediction, an American soldier will give a chocolate bar to an Afghan child. The parents of the child will file suit in American courts contending the child was intimidated because the soldier had a weapon. Thereby, he felt his life was in danger unless he took the chocolate. The ACLU, will represent the child’s family pro-bono and win. Soldier’s will no longer be able to give children chocolate anymore unless they get written permission from their parents first.

Karl Rove’s answers to questions by special council regarding the firing of Federal Attorneys by the Bush Administration will be scrutinized this week. After years of silence by Rove on this issue, he is being forced to respond to allegations that he knew more than what was originally reported and that he knew the contentious firings were politically motivated. My prediction, Rove will find himself in hot water after he answers the following question, “If you knew, legally that the firings were legal but could be interpreted by someone else as illegal and you didn’t know, were the firings therefore legally illegal; yes or no?

Universal health care is now the top agenda item for congress and Biped Bo. As they move forward to make major reforms, new definitions for medical conditions will be demanded by Biped Bo’s administration. My Prediction, pregnancy will be deemed as Acute Termporanis or “maybe baby.” Terminal Illness will now be called, “No roomis terminis or No Affordis.

My final predictions for the week are Liberals will continue to blame Bush for everything from the economy to Nancy Pelosi’s ignorance. Politics‘, not America will remain their top priority. Biped Bo will consider raising the tax on tea and the Supreme Court will start wearing ethnic dresses and listening to rap music in an effort to demonstrate empathy. And we, well we’ll just continue to scratch our heads wondering whether Wanda Sykes is a comedian or an incredibly demonstrative specimen of evolution still having a ways to go. Only God knows that answer. See ya!

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